Today

is going to be a rough one.

Chemical Releases

In my yoga course, Bhagaret would sometimes talk about how for many types of toxins, there are exclusive routes through which they can be released from the body. Like the breath for example.

Today there is this little ball of energy--good or bad, i don't know--living inside me and it emerges randomly in the form of a fluttery heart and stomach. Kind of the way I feel when I look down at the street from a top-floor window of a tall building. Or that strange tickle I sometimes get at the roof of my mouth when I touch very soft animals. This thing is making me feel (uncomfortably) young and naive. This thing is more than I can describe right now.

I think I need to do something about this. I am curious to see which escape route this thing will take. I have a preferred method.

At the age of 23, I know absolutely nothing about love.

To celebrate fall, I had the biggest juiciest most delicious Cortland apple of all time. See that is what happens with fatties, it comes back to food always.

Fall officially started last week, and it has been surprisingly great. I'm pleased and it is not just the new primetime television lineup. Nothing particularly new has happened, with the exception of my lady-friend moving to town. Still, I sense a positive change in the air. Good ideas are brewing--I already have one supporter/potential investor for my secret-business! I will tell you what it is if you're nice. I will say this, it involves vanity and Mexican food.

This evening I was looking for a blank book to paste some magazine clippings in (hello, 17) and I stumbled upon some old journals of mine. That's always interesting. I was seriously hooked. Oh the poor use of language and post-teenage melodrama! No. But seriously, it was pretty depressing. 2005 was not a good year for me apparently. Growing pains. All my important friends are in there. If you are reading now, there is a good chance you are in there. And, I found an entry going on and on about this dude then the following year a note I'd written by it that said "I don't even remember who this guy is!"

One neat thing about documenting your experiences is going back and finding themes. I couldn't help reading over some of the pages thinking gosh, that is something that hasn't changed at all. Things may not have changed much, but one thing I feel confident about is growing up...at least a little bit.

I recently heard of this project where people read their teenage diaries aloud. How excruciating!

I'd sign up in a heartbeat.

Also on my short-list:

1.) a. Get really awesome at Texas Hold'em by practicing online.
b. go to poker night next week and beat all the men.

2.) Make a small fortune on breakfast tacos. The nerve of some of these peeps--charging $3 for a potato and egg taco!! And whats worse is that people buy them no matter what! Count me in on that. Maybe I can use my poker winnings to start my taco-stand.

3.) Con someone into giving me $250 to attend Ladies Rock Camp next month.

Blair Waldorf

This lovely weather is sure giving me a pair of the love-goggles. About damned time.

Everyday for the past two days, I walk outside my door in the morning and say out loud: "ohmyGOD it feels SO GOOD out here!" So far I have only been caught talking to myself once, but I am hoping for more.

Things have been good. I've got my BFF as my neighbor, I found a new Monday night hangout (Gossip Girl at Alamo Drafthouse), and my house doesn't smell like a garbage can. Its bike-riding weather. The GRE is behind me. My boyfriend is growing a cute beard. My dog is not being a total asshole today. I could really get used to this!

Now that I'm living a more inspired life I should really make more use of all this good energy. Here is what's on my to do:

-Pull out my keyboard lesson books
-Go camping!
-Start looking at houses on the eastside again
- Spend some more time in bed
- Plant some winter things
- Write

Thats the plan.